Helen read tea leaves-

In the 70’s in Boulder, she was very dear

You’d drink her tea

And then turn your cup upside down

And there would be the mystery of your life

Seen by her inner knowing.

All the questions that lie before us in our youth

And seeing how much has been provided.

The fear and the release from fear

Guided through the storm

Unwavering can be our faith- it’s been proven.

There is that with us that knows the way.

Angels can be felt as points of light

Tiny winged things zooming about

Taking care of the many details

The ones we don’t even know

Need attending to.

Sort of like our bodies-

Behind the scenes wonders that they are.

We count everyday on a million miracles

Like air, sunshine, water, the breath, a kiss

The radius of life itself and the beings

That are looking after us.

Ho oponopono.

My brother and his wife watched the debate

Neither sleep that night

Deeply rattled by the play of Lela

The cast of characters so clearly delineated…

Oscar the Groch in his trash can…

Reminding me that when I was little

I had a monster living under my bed

So that I had to make a quick leap into bed,

Ah, the adventure of incarnating.

“““““““““““““““““““““““““`

My friend Priscilla who is on the other side

Painted -My Tree -it was a favorite of hers-

This buddhist concept of

Unconditional Friendliness Towards Onself.

Which restores the balance

Althought you might not think it was so.

So be careful out there

Your peace belongs to you, its unconditional.

Death is only a somewhat managable conversation

For the old….. as we leave a plan

With our Directives.

Mine differ from John’s.

( and we had to fight our way out of that paper bag)

…..I want no more extra minutes

Calling the last breath- good.

It’s emotional- this end of life stuff

Big feelings come up ( which I want more of anyway)

““““““““““““““““““““““

A call to love

To burn with it while I’m here.

Any reservation was just a bit of fluff.

“She’s got the whole world in her hands

She’s got the whole world -in her- hands..

She’s got you and me sister- in her hands…

She’s got the whole world in her hands.”

And of late….

I’ve come to rely on HER more and more

Because the human lives that crowd my heart

With their vast and complicated details

Must be released back to the wild….

To “She” who so easily looks after what I love.

I told a young friend that ” yes”

In fact we must sign up for full heartbreak

But if we don’t, we just sit on the fense

And what fun is there in that.

I’m letting my hair grow out

It’s a messy mullet – tossed at sea-

Caught in a storm….

And isn’t that exactely what this summer has been?

I won’t go into details

But I have been severely stretched-

So many significant changes.

But with a tiny nod to myself –

I seem to be ok.

Having made strides in the recent year-

Knowing that it’s my job

To be there for myself- tracking and loving

This whole complex deal called my life.

The grace of acceptance, not easily won

But so noticable when it has kicked in.

It’s been a week since Jean Pierre and I

Drove out the Lamar valley- thrilled by

Huge herds of buffalo

Some rolling in the dust.. In Yellowstone

The wonders of the earth unfold

Before our awaking spirit,

Each wonder – an ancient key.

Muddy waves sloshing in the dragons breath cave

An earth pluse- a remembering

That the earth is alive.

Jean Pierre started calling me Nowmeee

The grandmother- praying to see his small boat

Come into sight – on the now empty beach

“Where is he?”

We risk our heart – everyday

That’s just how it is here

And we woudn’t have it any other way.

As I pack my duffle

The call of the open road awaits

Jean Pierre ( 16) and I ( 74)

Leave early tomorrow for the Wind Rivers.

He’s a fisherman

And we are taking an infatable boat

To paddle out onto Colter Bay

And Yellowstone lake at sunset

My adventures of late

Have been interpersonal

And it’s just time for a little less of that.

that are out there

Aging is an island ( adventure?)

But we didn’t pack much

For our extended stay and there is

The surprised feeling of being unprepared…..

Like how did we get here?

“““““““““““““““““““““`

My neighbor and I

Sat at the beach as the sun went down…

That day , they’d been told that her husband

That he’d had two strokes

Which would explain his memory loss.

” Remember our wedding vows” she said

“In sickness and in health”

And it’s true we do motor on

With our injured partner beside us

Answering the same question for the seventh time.

““““““““““““““““““““““““““““`

I vowed at my wedding to be true to myself

( Walt Whitman’s Song to Myself)

Somehow I knew even then,

That life was a big ask and it is.

When Ann Sullivan finally gets through

To Helen Keller, signing water

While putting her hand in the water

Signing water, again and again

And Helen’s incredible joy

When she understands

Essentially that there is a place for her….

“““““““““““““““““““`

My friends son is struggling badly

His sense of place is missing

And she/he needs a miracle.

An opening in what feels closed

A sense of self to emerge in him.

This film came to mind and if you watch it

The black and white version is really wild….

Breakthroughs exit, let’s not give up

Universal consciousness is on the way- stay.