The horse nudged my hand when I

Sallied forth- saying my truth ( horses love this)

I’d stopped brushing her –

Having suddenly felt less connection.

In this kind of therapy –

It’s all about paying attention

Our Heart to Heart connection-

(Her heart being seven times larger than my own)

````````````````````

It was a love match from the beginning

But what I learned that day ( about myself)

Is that I lose the heart

By turning the love into a task….

I have often wondered why- me making dinner

Is often a disconnect with John-

And I think I have found the answer-

In the subtlety of putting down the horse brush

I can now see -instead of working at love

Just “being” with my friend ( Horse or Human)

Being with what-ever is in my heart…

With another… is love at it’s fullest.

“Hi Jan- it’s your sister Sal”

She’s going to want to get off the phone-

So I rush into my brief share- before

Like catching a firefly-

I let her go-

Back into her TVed nursing home-room

Where she is holding her own

Like a gruff ship’s captain

As I coo into her ear- for one more second.

```````````````````

So many things have become clear

How she kept me from living the life she led

Because she took it on- (for me.)

I salute you Jan

As you steer your ship into safe harbor

Full to the brim of your great strength

And perseverance-my big sister!

Oh my heart

Cutest being – ever

The small black bear

On his own-

Who ate the single strawberry

By my kitchen window.

Nature provides these visitations

Giving a spiritual confirmation

A kiss ,a wave- an acknowledgement

For our connective roles

Even the ones we wish were not ours.

Can I just be a warm body too

A heart – with

No thoughts necessary

No stories to anchor reality…

A constant thread of misdirection-

The ever active mind.

But Oh No- now I will have to feel

The heart of the great mother

Weeping..

all the held in check tears

of what I have been circumnavigating

Thinking the mind was a safer bet

But at what a cost?

I’ve heard that the reason we are feeling tired

Is that we are changing from a 3 d world to a 5 d- and

It is a good time to allow – old patterns to change.

Those self concepts that are like a tight leash around the neck.

One of mine changed from listening to a monk

Lobsang Phuntsok-

A darling human- whose face tells it all-

The long journey of forgiveness

And the flowering of unconditioanl love-

But hard won

He had to pull on the roots of what he calls

His lack of feeling loved- illness-

It didn’t want to budge-but

He wanted the fullness of his life to be his

And eventually he saw that he was loved ( enough)

Just not in the way he said love would look& feel.

I sat on the studio floor

Allowing the paint to find where it needed to go

… teaching me in it’s wake – the same…that

Something other than me- knows the way… and

What happens when I move forward

Having seen the futility of resisting

The pull of the tide

The force of how much I love.

I

I made a zine- a tiny folded form of story telling

Very handy for when the heart is over flowing

And it reguires a form of conveyance

To complete it’s rotation.

`````````````

I made a zine to give to my friend’s son

A leprechaun of a fellow- in a jaunty hat

He is going bald

( like his dad)- our friend- 10 years older-

Who had recently slipped to the other side.

But my heart needed to make a personal marker

Hense the zine-

Which tells of a faithful stop watch-

The same watch that his son says he now has

As he too had wanted to time his wifes contractions-

Thus confirming once again- spirit is here

Winking and giggling- whispering “do you get it”?

Early start – up to Mitchell Lake

Banks is full of zest – curious about each new thing

Me too-

Open hearted we take to the path

Tails wagging.

Simple joy is best.

I compliment him often- so kindly

Looking back over his shoulder

To see that I don’t misstep

As I hop over a log.

We are off trail- following the river

Rushing us onward- toward even

More love.

Chicory flowers bloom for just one day

By evening there is not a bit of blue in sight

But come morning- we are fully gifted

Once again with the magic of blue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our inner solutions are within reach

Recently I set a question in motion-

And was gifted a super comsic insight.

Spirit conspired to help me see

My next evolutionary step…

From a horse whisperer-

I will now be able to learn

To ask – instead of tell.

To invite connection- (not as a requirement)

But as a true meeting.

As I walked on the path through the woods

My youngest self sneaked back in

That pensive child with head tipped away

I let go of the other

No need for performance- a nasty habit

I picked up along the way.

And just let myself drift and be there-

Finding bits of treasure

A perfect pinecone, a chuck of quartz

A twisted piece of wood.