The birds chase each other

In a dance of feathers and seed

Faithfully-refilled daily, so it’s full.

Such abundance- content on their perch

Nibbling the moment…

““““““““““““““““`

Abundance is harder for us to claim

The dense layer of ” not enough”-

A successful societal hypnosis

In this land of plenty

That keeps us driven for more

A pension – a IRA – a plan for the fearful future.

But like the cheerful chirps I hear

We are receiving a new memo

“Be on notice, Gene key 55 is upon us”

A huge shift is in the lifting air

A kind of buoyancy

As we drift on the invisible currents

That were there all along…

Drifting now, I bump into you

How very pleasant.

Some days just start out wrong

And you can just never get them back on track,

Descending barometer sleigh ride down hill.

John and I have an ancient fight

Which will never get any purchase….

It just makes claw marks in the sand. Most likely

Unresolvable issues with our deceased fathers.

Jay says of Dad at the end of his novel….

“I never knew the origin of his unhappiness

Or if the broken in him

Was given away at birth and he had no say in the matter.

I do know it’s always been a scandal to say,

“I love you, How do we fix this? Please forgive me.”

I never heard him say these words so now

I say these words for him

Thinking maybe he still needs help in this department

And anyway, I’m the only one left on earth

Who knows his name,

I’m the only one who can say,

“Let’s go out on the water Vital Bow and hoist the sail

And see if we can sort out those parts

Of ourselves we never understood”

Jay’s asking a very important question here-

Can we love complicated people?

The non-conforming axis where we meet.

“““““““““““““““““““““““

Jay White’s novel,

The Last Tale of Nora Bow

Comes out in Aug of 24.

Priscilla’s house is staged to sell

It looks picture perfect

Many of my paintings are hung

To good effect-

Priscilla and I always were a good match.

But when I turned to notice

The tall pot with a lid that she’s made

The one I stuffed the bag of her ashes into

I had to laugh.

She’s still overseeing the proceedings..

Even in her dusty form.

Oh unsuspecting house buyer

We, her friends, preparing the house

Are an unconventional lot….

But no one will look in the pot.

““““““““““““““““““““““““`

I’m new to a Qigong class for seniors

It’s Taoist philosophy….

The cosmos is available

As we scoop it – sweeping above with the hand

So many stars

That each of us have our very own star.

Winking in the night

Like at wish upon a star- it’s me.

My niece asked me at the birthday party- about

Me not drinking- wondering about it?

I said – “It’s not a good fit”

I use it to cope emotionally

With what’s difficult or hard – like

Navigating a social situation

Which is especially hard on Projectors ( my Human Design type)

We passionately want to be of help ( sometimes to our own detriment)

So claiming my unique assets and being conscious of my limitations

Knowing this- I made fire for the land and me

And snapped this gift from the photo gods

So delightful to see- my shadow self

Effortlessly and sweetly too

Holding the Stone of Being.

No effort- what a great metaphor.

She nudged me with her snout

Snot on my knee, wet reside of her insistence

I didn’t encourage her

But sitting had given her access

An intimacy we don’t usually have.

I got a little worried as she voiced her enthusiasm

I love her too

But she was going past words now

Leaning aggressively

Her desire to be close got a little scary.

“Oh My” I thought- what do I do?

My friend said “Stand up”

“She can’t hump you if you stand up.”

Even so she’s a tank and a force

And I wanted on the other side of her gate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love is troublesome

And passion deserves our respect

Perhaps even fear …..

But participating in the rites of Spring

On this sunny day in January…

Happy to be loved by a pig of such quality

On the other side of the fence.

S

Dustin has Haven every other day

He’s came over to borrow birthday Candles

And John said “How do you borrow birthday candles?”

He also needed a pan

To make Haven’s mother a cake.

“““““““““““““““““““`

Life is a series of vignettes.

Today I resigned from Taiko Drumming

The perfect balance of subtle support is gone.

The Sensei went corporate

His sweet underlying intention for the Dojo

Torn kites in the wind.

What to do at this juncture?

I’d just gotten the drumming routine down

And that alone is a wonder but not all is lost

I’m a better- broader person for learning Taiko.

It was really fun.

Quiet grey day

Pensive inner quiet-

Resting in “what is”- content.

“““““““““““““““““““““

I’ve been running such a horse race

Trying to out run my grief and it’s been

Helpful to have continued sorting to do.

Priscilla’s papers and keepsakes…..

Sitting on the floor with Michele

Saying I’ll give that to Cathy- or you hold on to that

But mostly we nodded in agreement-

To pitch out the item in question.

Looking through everything is healing

Moving the energy….

I feel like a fully pollinated flower

Dusted with what mattered to her

She’s working on my behalf

A fat bumble bee, I am content.

We can help each other maintain ease-

When the wait is long and we might be a afraid…there is this

Delightful image of “Calculated Waiting”

And these words- so helpful ….

“Quit worrying, relax and try to be happy

For the divination is one of good fortune,

In spite of how things might seem.”

“A period of calculated waiting must pass

Before the cosmos can address itself to your needs,

In essence, it is a difficult time

Since the elements involved are not directly under your control”

Reminding us too-

“Any action would be foolish overreaction

So nourish one another with cheerfulness

And reassurance instead.”

“““““““““““““““““““

Thank you I Ching and artist Lo Ping 1750

This is number five in the I Ching- tomorrow…number 6.

I have become a master painter

Tens of thousands of brushstrokes

All done under the yoke of “not good enough”

The judgement of the world had snuck in-

The dollars and cents value of things

Rotting the core of “my tree”

“My unconditional friendliness towards myself”

“““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““

Having awakened to this form of my conditioning-

I am no longer a slave to the market place

And declare out loud-that ”I do not sell my art…

It’s a give away”

It was a joy to make …

And by opening the door

The piece will find it’s home …. more easily

Money has been in the way of flow

Money has been in the way of value.

I’m a living experiment.

Life is fascinating.

I prepared the finest delicacies for my friends,

Royalty all – such qualities, as dedication, generosity, and attention to detail.

As we prepare to sell Priscilla’s house come February, a little weary of it all….

It was time for tea- one lump of sugar of two?

Our shared loss, so much better with friends, wondering…

What to do with her books,

Her dishes , her pottery wheel?

We needed to sit in the sound of each others voices

A possible cure for what still ails us.

I drank too much coffee

As I held the container for our grief

But it was my turn to host

And it is new years eve,

Time to celebrate at the shared table

Allowing for spirit to enter and inform us as she will.