“Called or not Called God is There”

Can this really be true….perhaps

In moments when we allow it

Before retreating to the familiarity

Of the obsessive mind and it’s many tricks.

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Four darling teens paid us a brief visit, yesterday

( Jean Pierre’s friends- Seniors at Boulder High)

And when they were leaving

I said to each

“Good job at being a kid”

Is it that simple- that our mere existence is enough.

That is the called or not called – enoughness

Of our existance –

I could see this shining truth in them

Now- to see this in myself

ahhhhhhh- equinox.

My new friend has departed

She ate a large fly…..

The whole purpose of her presence here

But it was long enough for me to

Fall in love

Cinnamon brown and beautiful

And accomplished, capable of being here

In a way I will forever struggle with.

“Oh yee of little faith

But things are a changin!”

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The spider has spun it’s line

And so have we

Invisible threads map our traverse…

The varibles of existance- “come what may.”

But now it’s time to lean back and float

In the moving air of our questions.

It’s a time of testing…

Jumping into the void

0f our most complex feelings

To see how we are held…..

Wings and light unbound.

My hearing loss was sudden….

Was it because the voice of God

Had shouted my name

Waking me in the middle of the night

Yelling- “Hey Sally”

A contempary colloquialism

For getting a persons attention

Which it did-

And since then “meaning” has meandered

As I quietly look for it.. something has changed…..

My hearing is back though –

(once I got the wax out.)

eeekkkkkk….

Sometimes it’s ok to steal

To take the flowering plants from your neighbor’s house

The one scheduled to be destroyed…..

Jay says he’s ok

If he stays close to dirt and water.

As we compare notes on the inner landscape

That tricky realm of shadows and light…..

Recommending curiosity

While I just need to say a deeply honest thing

To someone who knows me.

Saying out loud- my insight

So that it might have a chance of

Budding bright within me.

The humming birds like the purple flowers

This has been a good mix of seeds

Ever changing….

Like me.

Who met with the fierce feminine

and got scorched but of course you would.

She doesn’t mess around, Roaring

Molten center of the earth….

We better behave is all I can say.

And on the personal level

This is what I got….

Stay as close as possible to my own pain

Stay with the heartbreak…

For right there is the love.

The immense quiet in animals

Pure non dual- no talking or thinking

The old Zen master suggests the same for us.

dot dot dot……

( As I think on what the next thing is to say)

Really all there is

Is- I Love you

Stevie Wonder style-

I love you from the bottom of my heart.

The fox waddled across the road

The weight of dinner in it’s mouth- perhaps

It was our cat – I worried

I’ve been more worried of late

(Got to watch that).

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John and I walked up hill in the woods …

Great way to let the trees

Take over my weary consciousness,

Digesting all worry ( as they like to do)

Lighter and more sane…..

( watching that too).

Orbiting the outer reaches

Fishing for clues or just bigger awareness…

The scope of our exitance

Especially with some of my key people

Getting to the jumping off place…

I am hanging wider- joining them

Slowing down… almost to a stop.

Not motivated by ego or money

What is the motivation- then?

(Is that considered dementia.. as in

“Have you lost your mind?”)

Ego and money have us so boxed in

How can vision make her elegant entrance?

Willow saw this bumper sticker

I heart – Aging and Dying.

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Big love on this August Night.

Happy Birthday Cathy Bell.

On the hotest day so far

I take my old form into the cold current

To splash across- like a 10 year old

All shock and glee- feeling whoopee “It’s me”

Suddenly- a million years younger.

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And then there is the body…

Bodies just in themselves are wild .

As I hobble up the stony path

Wet footed and happy

Rejuvenated.

Time to make a pie.