Imagine yourself standing on a beach

near the waterline

as you gaze out over the ocean.

The wet sand is so solid

that your feet leave only the faintest of imprints…

You step forward

to stand just within reach of the leading edge of the waves.

As each wave curls around your ankles

and then rushes out again

notice that it sucks the sand out from under your feet,

unsettling you.

You are forced to take a new stance, again and again.

This is something like the relationship

between the ego

and the larger divine perspective

that both attracts and undermines.

Can we be “undermined” sufficiently to allow a true transcending?

“Oh but how we resist”

A sharing from one of my all time favorite books,

Uniting Sex, Self and Spirit by Genia Pauli Haddon

I am making an apple pie

For myself,

and for my big bumbling country

made up of individuals wrestling with the same demons.

Remember how Jimmy Carter got busted for having lustful thoughts

Well, I’m busted too, my thoughts are often not great,

a form of shadow boxing that I think is real

Lustful would be way better👩‍🦳

We are not going to get anywhere

unless we realize that we are bonified crazy here,

that life is a wild and free- not knowable – experience

that is not identifiable by what we say it is.

One of women I knew in the mountains

named her son Freedom.

Apple pie for All!🥧

A puff of air, as we sailors call it

rippled the surface of the lake this morning.

My sister has had a touch and go year.

She’s hoping to be getting off

of a mean medicine this month

that has kept her energy low.

I painted the two of us sailing our boats, side by side

Free in the wind with her hand on the tiller.

The painting is a shamanic healing,

going into the void and choosing a high vibe,

pulling us back into what we love,

as our sails fill with a puff of air!

In the new consciousness

I may try to trick you

into believing the myth of my un-reality

for the thousandth time

But knowing you

you will see my shimmering edges….

the shared knowledge

that I’m really awesome and free.

“You are the River and I am the Shore”

Summer Solstice painting 2021

“Cause you are the river

and I am the shore.

And it goes on and on

watching the river run

further and further

from things that we’ve done,

leaving them one by one”

love Sally

finally understands that Water…

Is water ,

The sheer joy of communication with another human being!

I think that many of us are posed for the same kind of breakthrough

On this eve of the summer solstice.

Just don’t try to be funny in an e mail,

Humor requires a face, a wink and a smile.

Our newly adopted cat

was an inside cat from Texas

but he will tentatively go outside

if I am there with him!

Last night he sat on the low step

observing the geese walk across the grass

Riveted

Like Hellen,

The sheer joy of Water!

Happy Solstice 2021

Having been lulled by the river

I rock in a constancy,

the heart rhythm, ancient.

I grow horns, smooth and sharp.

Being on the Yampa River again and again

I am tuned to the deepest pattern, the Nous

The presence of all,

the body permeable.

The mind empty

the community not mine but all.

There and now,

see through me – you can.

My lost shirt is the forest or the water

I’m already a ghost,

spirit bound as much as flesh.

I am the canyon wall, the water moving,

bird and bush.

Just call me Big Horn Sal!

Tomorrow is the official start of the Sixth Sun

after thousands of years of the Toltec Fifth Sun

My guess is that we are in for a higher frequency

and more fun.

This will be an adjustment…..

sometimes when I look at my hand

it’s curled into a fist,

like I’m ready to fight….

for the rights of women, stolen and borrowed.

But on this eve of a new sun

I’m investigating what is truer then conflict,

and I suspect it’s some wild intergradation

of the fractious parts in myself.

The eye of the heart blinks open

and stays open.

Hold onto your hat!

As the song from Camelot goes

“It’s the Lusty month of May”

When everything goes Astray …..

It’s time to do a Wicked thing or two”

as we dance with our skirts flying.

I loved musicals as a kid….

and I love presents.

It’s almost my birthday

and Willow told me….

“Oh your love language is Presents”

Come May my Mom would say….

“Let’s go buy you something new for you to wear”

So, in this spirit, I went to a fancy 2d hand shop

to purchase many happy new clothes

a spirit gift from my mom

lounging in love language

dandelions in my hair.

How many times has Jean Pierre

hooked and brought to the surface

a glimpse of the divine

in her form as a Fish.

Shouting, “Nowma Come Quick”

and me running upstream on old legs

to witness the miracle,

of a Rainbow or a Brown

alive and wise in the ways of water.

But today after the spill

their influence in our lives

is a hollow echo.

Their brightness, their intelligence,

and the dreams we share

are missing.

The river is devoid of fish,

all dead from the gasoline in the water.

A tanker took a full load too fast on a curve

and now I stand with Jean Pierre

and feel a loss that is planetary.

Can we breath

if the fish can’t…

as they leapt toward land

anything to escape the poison.

Sweet cousins of the water,

we miss you with all our hearts.

I’m so sorry.

I haven’t been sleeping well

and John suggested that before I go to sleep

I celebrate today’s catch……

what was gathered throughout the day

this vignette, who I fed or spoke with

what was said

created, dug or planted.

To spend some time sorting through

admiring this and tossing that.

I’ve been unconscious of my negative stance

toward myself

critical really….

So last night I sipped tea in the dark

and treasured the shiny brightness

of my efforts to be a human

who loves well enough!