No one will want to hear this-

But I have seen again-

The deep conditoning of the diminished self

Of women.

We were not supported -and

There is guilt and shame

In our lineages.

( affecting our strength and power now)

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A friend told me that her mother

Got pregnant- her first time having sex…

High School boyfriend- they broke up

Four months later she understands that she is pregnant

The parents make the kids get married

The baby is born and dies.

And this story was kept in secret – until an uncle

Mentioned the baby-

A baby that my friend knew nothing about.

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Secrets were the name of the game in my mother’s generation

But also too in the 60’s onward-

We have been so well taught

That the blame is ours.

There is recovery in shared stories

Hearing about my friends mother- heals me

And makes me mad- in the best of ways….

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There has been no healing for either of them

Her mother shut off her heart long ago

Saying to her daughter- I moved on- and so should you.

But there is no flow between them and she is 83.

This is a travesty… we can do better.