I visited Russia just after the Berlin Wall came down.

Kindred- kind people, not unlike my own.

“there was strawberry jam on oatmeal and

the art museums, The Hermitage

and the little ladies with black arm bands

telling me about the siege of St Petersburg.”

So in a bold moment yesterday- I sent a Valentine to Putin.

In a quantum leap- the particle becomes a wave.

“““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““`

When I was little, I imaged the iron curtain

As a tall corrugated -fluted wall of shiny metal

That my love could cross over.

Guess I’m still at it….

Virtual Valentine Transmission-

Received

(as it turns out)

Only by me

But maybe it only takes one of us

To fulfil the circuit of love’s mighty current.

Quantum Valentine.

No more boasting

I have succumb to the common germ pool

A lovely school of fish in our little cold bodies

Cough Cough

As I navigate the depths with others of my species.

Willow wants to bring me soup.

Food has little appeal

But her friendly voice on the phone

Is pure medicine.

I had to call our friends that we’d had dinner with

(Their first dinner party in four years

As they’d been waiting out the crime wave of covid )

To alert them to the Danger.

Cough Cough

She was so kind, again pure medicine.

Humble little fish -grateful

An evolving species.

I

I’ve been listening to music from the 60’s

So -no wonder that I dreamed

About kissing my high school boyfriend.

And Ick – he was a frog!

I knew in a second that he was not right for me!

Reflecting this morning

How much one has to sort through to find

What matches us,

What’s is right specifically for us!

“““““““““““““““““

What has been a big help for me

Has been to discover that I am

A “Projector ” ( in Human Design)

It’s very cool- a map of your aura type…

Your open and closed centers.

Just Go to “My Human Design” “

And entering your birth info.

(Projectors are here to be guides)

And I have a new blog

It’s called projectornotes.com

The animals have let themselves be seen.

Gentle deer in a line crossing the river

Watching out for each other…..

( that is the kind of care I need.)

Busy squirrel too… ready for change

( a reminder to plan ahead but not go nuts)

And what of the macho fox prancing

With his thick tail so fine, completely confident

Suggesting that We Can do It

( whatever that personally means to you)

“““““““““““““““““““

It’s January 10th and the sun

Is noticeably more available

And we instinctively return from the underworld.

“The Navajo have no word for death

But call it- Adin

Which means “no longer available”

It’s a better description

because we’re still somewhere

We don’t just disappear”

““““““““““““““

Quote from a novel…..

In a Town Called Paradox

A good read!

In a minute or less

I told him a hard truth.

Truth telling doesn’t need embellishment

It just needs to get out.

It is not an attack

It is just a big reveal…..

Releasing of an energetic secret

The kind that is a splinter in your paw.

I’d been feeling off for a couple of days,

Vaguely annoyed with John,

Just conscious enough

To catch what I was up to.

My own unresolved guilt was the egg I was sitting on

And instead of admitting these feelings ( even to myself)

I was hurling stones at John – or at least wanting to

As a diversion.

So I blurted it out – quick……

Amazing how much better I feel.

““““““““““““““`

January is my month of karma

I met John, I got divorced, I had a baby

Lovely John, Lovely first husband, Lovely daughter!

Bless you January!

My Mom and Me

Sitting together in the sun with a stiff sea breeze.

She made it to 98

With joy in her heart- not easy

As I begin to get my toes wet with the reality of growing old.

“““““““““““““““““““““““`

Abandoning my frozen car, left on a mountain pass

Too cold to start its old engine.

Insurance micky mouse and towing failure to understand

I’m still working on it

Cold-Days later…….

Oddly I’ve been sleeping better,

Warrior spirit awakened,

We drove back over with a new battery

Which still didn’t get the engine to turn over.

In our youth we had all manner of car escapades

And this adventure has reminded me of how “game” we were

Reminding me that an attitude of

” COME WHAT MAY”

Is my best bet for aging well.

Not easy….

I used to ask my mom to tell me about her difficult feelings

And I find with myself

That it is the liberation of a fear

That sits heavy in my heart

That sets me free to join back in the flow…

Of come what may.

““““““““““““““

I recommend,

1 Mediation with Dick Schwartz

Inviting a Part to Speak, on You Tube

I had to deal with the fear of not being as capable

as I once was.

Best Beloveds

The sun breaks upon the high edge of our valley

Solstice alignment is upon us

My not sleeping is getting to be a real thing

My active brain spins like a top.

There is so much information pounding in

From the heavens….

We sensitive types tune in

But without proper training

The maps for humanity may not be getting made,

I am humbled and bumbled this solstice.

“““““““““““““`

““““““““““““““““““““““““`

“In Scandinavia, the snow piled so high

In times of old, the Shaman bringing relief

From the long winter plight

Came down the chimney opening

With a dose of mushroom infused reindeer pee

To change the vibe, relieve the stress

Bringing insights through hallucinations.

““““““““““““““““““

Not sure how to wrap this up

I too circle the night

Hunting vision, honoring the effort

Each of us make

Illuminating the darkness

Lighting a small candle

I sing- Best beloveds

I am thankful to participate.

My new friend’s name is Cassandra

“Isn’t that the name of a goddess”

but as if inside an old joke…..she says

“It means a woman of knowledge

An oracle, that no one listens to.”

She shuts her eyes before she speaks

and I listen deeply to the things she shares.

Thrilled like school girls

she is 86 and I am 72.

““““““““““““““

As I write this I am reminded of a story

I heard long ago….

Dale worked Thursday nights at a church

Laundry and food for homeless folks

When a sweet blind woman stopped coming

He found out that a local hospital

Had given her a room because they had

Another elderly blind woman

So the two could share a room.

As the two ladies talked

They discovered that they had been best friends

At the age of ten.

““““““““““““““`

“Ah sweet mystery of life at last I found you”

John’s sculpture above –

Full moon tonight!

I called Julie Blackbird,

To communicate with my Cat, Merlyn.

And in the quiet calm of intuitive space she said-

” He’s stubborn”

He has been peeing on the furniture

That’s why I called her!

She said to put chicory flower essence

In his water and try giving him a second cat box.

““““““““““““““““““““““““““

She also said that he doesn’t know how to express

His emotions in a positive way.

(Do I?)

Relationships are excessive

Requiring insight and diligence and patience

And in the case of my cat, on going-in-depth communing.

It’s a growth point for me that is being offered….

Unfortunately there are no shortcuts,

Can I up my game and do my part?

Working on all fronts-

I’m spraying the clean slip covers with peppermint oil!

This challenge is yet another call to consciousness

But it’s Nip and Tuck!