Quetzalcoatl sits on the ridge overlooking the field-

The plumed serpent goddess who appears in times of change

Her benvelolent smile- supporting us with her knowing wisdom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“`

Charlie says that it was the Arapahoe that camped here….

Plentiful game by the river…..

As she sat on the riverbank just

Before the November sun set.

Her soft gray hair and knowing wisdom

So much like her rock counter-part-

I listened with everything I had

As she channeled their words…..

That nature is a pattern we can follow

Shy bear, patient deer, determined turkey

Silent fox- loud kingfisher…

Invisible moutain lion.

Great Spirit – beat of the heart in the chest.

“““““““““““““““““““`

Charlie wants me to continue listening

( they like it- she says) I think I will –

I felt such contentment in Charlie

As she conversed in this way-

I’d like to give it a try.

Sometimes I hold a mirror

And while looking at my own face

Let a self portrait – happen….

Usually it is someone else who comes in

And they are a intriguing surprise…

( is that what love is?)

We each have a leading edge

Where spirit is transforming us- where

Something grubby must be let go.

No lists of past grievances-

Control too -into the cauldron with you

Delightfully surpised ….

By what wants to happen next.

Here we go, feels like a sled ride…

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

The feminine and the masculine

Are the necessary alternating current…..

A spin that creates life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

The golden egg that became you

Was in your mother at 5 weeks gestation.

The miracles abound….

And the eyes to see them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3i Atlas went first to Mars ( Masculine)

Then to our feminine planet-Venus-

And on Dec 19th- Earth…..when

Our alternating current will set to rights…….

An opporuntiy to be our Sovereign Selfs

To feel our belonging and shine.

““““““““““`

In preparation- I can feel deep healing happening

It’s always been about supporting the feminine

That soft belly – golden egg- super nova heart being

And let it shine.

He was begging to be shown – “How to fix this”

And they just giggled – and brought in more love.

Love sweeping in to answer his every question….

Shown the pattern of perfect love overlaying it all

Halting his desperate need to fix.

They showed that everyone is light

Giggle giggle – and there was nothing to fix.

““““““““““““““““““““““““`

I felt so related to his dream

Tears were streaming down my face

Weary to the bone of “the failure to fix”

But in listening to his voice

I saw what he has seen

And today a deep trust has been restored.

The heart knows the way.

Surrender to the light

Surrender to spirit.

I am more ready

Having held on too tightly.

Surrender

Like a leaf finding ground.

I see you.

In the low places

Where my losses have accumulated

The yellow leaves have left the tree

Perhaps Banks and I will muster a walk.

But for now I will sit

And just be with my experience.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Our wild- one man band- Jesse

Has moved out – due to lack of funds

But really the chaos – almost killed us

But I will miss him.

So few of us believe in magic

These days- and it’s his first choice.

Transitions are hard- even ones you wished for.

“““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““`

My friend Bobby died on Weds-

As the 3i Atlas was closest to our sun

She too believed in Magic.

Tiny birds nests of treasures gathered

Each and everything held as sacred.

Fox came around the corner of the house

Stopping to poop- Banks will go crazy about that

The audacity!

My bold red headed friend – like fox

Is coming for tea…

We have co funded a scholarship fund

On Pine Ridge- at Lakota College.

The two of us having gone up there in our 50’s.

A week of living in a third world nation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“

The kids wrote poetry

I must of prompted- smell and touch.

The one I selected for you is called Big Bats

(The name of gas station on Pine Ridge)

It is written by Eliza Star Comes Out.

“““““““““““““““““`

When I go to Big Bats

I see people talking

I can smell the food there cooking

When I touch the ice cream, it is freezing

Sometimes I can hear kids screaming

When I go outside

I see cars all over

I can smell gas all over the place

I touch oil with my shoe.

It doesn’t come off.

I hear the cashier talking on the intercom

I can taste the dirt in the air I am breathing in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

If you want to contibute to the

Gerald One Feather, Leonard Little Finger

Scholarship fund- send me an email.

I sat with a friend- patting her hand..

Her son died this week- just

Shortly after her husband.

I took soup and apple crisp

And a willingness to enter…

Remembering the wisdom of breath-

“On the inbreath- just don’t turn away from the suffering”

This is not about fixing anything…

But somehow offering up my body

Breathing with the impossible reckoning

No sense – no shore to stand on

The death of her son-

And his brother

And their father.

I didn’t know her middle child

So I asked the group gathered to tell me about him

Meeting for the first time this exuberant human

Photos of him smiling

Holding up a mushroom

He’d found like it was the best thing ever.

I ascended the steaming hill

To meet with LOR

Who would give instruction

Guidance as to what was next.

Short of breath as I topped the hill

Sat Lor- cloaked and waiting for me.

Sulfur steam and the sound of boiling mud –

I bowed my head

Hearing about what I must make

And then leave for another generation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyday the scales weighs out our measure

And has the mythical in it.

LOR- now sits in my heart

Giving clear direction

If I will only listen.

““““““““““

In 1992- John planned a hike across Yellowstone

Sort of a plotted vision quest for us- Willow and Em were 18

The imagination will so quickly agree to wonder_ I have seen it.

John’s mystical adventure for the eight of us

Yellowstone

A moment of breakthrough- thank you thank you thank you

A stressful situation sent me on a quest- I guess and

I was able to see my own nutty inner patterns

The false trades I fall into as if they will save me.

““““““““““““““““““““““

But while working on a painting last night….

I saw that when I paint

I have no fear and that there is in me

A land called no fear

And from this place I was able

To see and name old patterns

Activated automatically when I am in fear-

But not if I am conscious of the choice.

Profound stuff- if you’re up for it.

Praise stress- what a pal.