that I have been fairly aggressive of late

demanding a way out….

shouting, stomping, pouting, wailing,

interesting to track

because something gave way

under the weight of my desire for liberation.

I was given this question

“Whose eyes are you looking out of”

and in this moment,

I saw my soul.

And it’s more like fire or wind or star.

Not human, truly other.

And living with this visitation has changed me,

something heavy has been lifted.

There are habits of emotion,

the sway of the heart.

but I’m not sure what I am gathering here.

I ( as fire) don’t appear to need anything.

Make Love Not War

Granny says- “Make Love not War

with Beaver and Redtail Blessings”

This year’s image for my annual print

(brought through in a mediation)

captures my inner masculine supporting me…

No small thing- this.. taken a lifetime!

How do men pull it off?

We have a four point buck in runt here,

in season, blind to anything

but the scent in the air

that has him trotting with purpose

and almost running us down.

That’s me.

I am running a bit hot, it all so new

and poor John

but I ‘m loving the sense of instinct and drive….

Wild old woman

integrating the societal need

for the men to get behind…

And isn’t this the underlying principle of Feminism?

Scary is a woman’s fangs (but her sharp teeth mean well)

I know the fight is an internal alignment

I own that

But come on guys

Have our backs, will ya?

Even though you might get bitten.

Integration

My friend held her hands out far

demonstrating the masculine principal known as Shiva

That which holds, that which offers divine space for the feminine,

allowing wild Ms Shakti to explode if she wants to

He just holds the space for her, no worries.

Like warm apples in a pot

ready to be made into pie!

Getting our toes wet

dipping into that salty sea of old age

wet with worries, not unfounded

Peter Pan and Captain Hook ( that’s me)

and a crocodile with a ticking clock inside.

My mate keeps to his work

but the truth be told, everything takes three times longer.

Perhaps it’s time to go deeper into the sea

where the water, thick with salt

lets us float for free

like turtles, old with time

and free.

John and I have been going at it

I’ve been introducing what could be called a a homeopathic dose

a suggestion really…

That we turn our sights toward our older years

( we are in our 70’s)

mutually gazing into the pasture of our later years

(Really not John and I at all)

So I’m not surprised when my innocent suggestion quickly becomes-

A fight to the death.

But there is good medicine in bringing up difficult topics

They do lose some of there sting, their bite.

It was the wedding of the century

and I was there.

Terry and Michele both live at Mesa Vista

the nursing home where my sister lived.

Michele always knew where Anne was.

She is the gatekeeper at the vortex

a cosmic human,

surviving a near fatal motorcycle accident in her 30’s

Some of us get whittled

into something akin to pure light.

I have stayed in touch with Michele

and when I visited her I met Terry.

They’d met when Michele was 17

and as Terry’s said

” She was with her old man

and I had a lady” …..

only to meet again in their 50’s,

both worse for wear.

But their wedding was the true ritual…

Odd angels, both of them.

(The groom so nervous I thought he might faint.)

Their willingness tangible

in a way that most of us have little access to.

As we hummed amazing grace

they walked back towards

I heard Michele say, over and over again,

I love Terry,

I love Terry,

I love Terry.

Jan would be the first to leave the wedding.

Her health has been poor and it was a cold night.

But when she stood, cane in hand

a line began to form…….

Her family seeking to say goodnight

or something, touching in for a moment

of being close….

Wildly radiant as she met each one

with something akin to fire…..

I saw all of this!

When it was Henry’s turn, art student at Pratt

Jan extended her hand

with such a glimmer and glint in her eye

A pirate gazing into the future.

Next the sparkling bride and her groom

hugs and kisses….

granddaughters, daughters, her son, two nieces

a brother, his wife and Willow and I

holding the gate by her side.

The night had gotten long and over

and a mist had settled on the sea.

At last she turned to me and said

“Oh, You I’m not saying goodbye to”

tears in my eyes “Me neither”

Events have conspired

A long held door is open

It’s time for me to exit the Matrix.

The enculturated conditioning,

is now illumined

“Step through” the unknown whispers……

Joseph Campbell says this…

“Our demons are our own limitations

which shut us off from knowing

the ubiquity of the spirit.

The consciousness is enlarged

and more spirit is encompassed.”

“My definition of a devil

is a god

who has not yet been recognized.

It’s time for Push Back

Bring it…..

This is my dear friend.

We are very fond of each other

and I don’t think it’s just because I feed her.

Today’s breakfast was a pesto over old beans

with carrot tops, a tasteless peach and part of an apple.

A fair meal for a friend,

Pig, pure pleasure to know you

there it is!

“Before my body formed in the womb

the pattern of my being existed as electrical elements”

Trees too- the wonder of it.

My neighbor, Daniel’s wisdom

grinning at me from under his straw hat…..

one day he got picked up by an envoy ( ET)

and when he asked why him?

A voice said ” You can’t get here unless you are empty”

My life is not dull….

It’s Electrical 😎